Crysalia Guest Writer

All parents strive to raise independent, motivated, and responsible children. In enterprising families, the complexities of intersecting family, business, ownership and wealth make this goal even more challenging.

How can families prepare a new generation of empowered and responsible owners? How can they equip them to attain personal fulfilment, growth and independence?

A Familiar Predicament

Each family is unique, but most parents struggle with these complex questions. Undoubtedly, they want to do what is “right.” Still, what is “right” is rarely evident, particularly when faced with the blessing of abundance.

In trying to define and convey this, enterprising families will strive to balance multiple paradoxical dilemmas, as they wish to:

• Instill a sense of responsibility and stewardship, while offering the freedom to choose their own path.
• Foster strong work ethics and an appreciation for the value of money, without creating crippling levels of pressure.
• Offer financial security and protect them from hardship, while ensuring their offsprings become independent and self-sufficient adults.
• Ensure the rising generation understands the family’s assets and how to sustain and grow them without revealing, “too much, too soon.”

Wrestling with these polarities, clearly and concisely articulating multi-faceted hopes can become a daunting task. With horror stories, clichés and disaster scenarios aplenty, defining aspirations through the negative can feel easier.

While this helps streamline a complex answer, stopping at vividly describing undesirable outcomes can be a dangerous shortcut. It could frame the family’s development under an “if we don’t succeed, we fail” lens, rather than through a “failure is a learning opportunity” mindset. In turn, this may heighten pressure, magnifying the perceived stakes and the feeling that any mistake could have lasting and significant consequences.

As in any high-pressure situation, this tends to trigger common coping mechanisms. Some will feel a desire to retain or regain control. It is often reflected in complex restrictive mechanisms intended to protect the families. Others may freeze, sticking to the status quo and playing “not to lose.” This can lead to prolonged avoidance, typically at the root of successors kept waiting in the wings as a passive “next generation” for far too long, just as in the case of King Charles.

While understandable and often easy to rationalize, these reactions foster self-fulfilling prophecies. They encourage the very outcomes families wish to prevent in their quest for preparing the next generational wave.

Adopting new perspectives

At Crysalia, we help enterprising families and organizations harness the full potential of their human capital. We elevate their individual and collective skills, knowledge and leadership. We facilitate critical conversations. We help families improve, protect or transform their legacy, dynamics and interactions.

To help enterprising families prepare a new generation of empowered and responsible owners, we invite family members and their advisors to consider adopting and integrating 3 powerful perspectives as the first steps.

1. Define your family’s goals positively, not negatively
Cognitive science has demonstrated that what we focus on directs our attention, guides our efforts and influences outcomes. In life, just as in sports and while driving, “where we look is where we go.”

Positive parenting emphasizes pursuing positive, meaningful goals to cultivate a flourishing life. In Wealth 3.0: The Future of Family Wealth Advising, Dr. James Grubman, Dr. Dennis T. Jaffe & Kristin Keffeler clearly identified the criticality of moving from a fear-driven perspective to positive framing and goal setting.

By choosing to define goals in terms of what the family wishes to achieve, they create a clear vision of success and give direction to their engagement. To get started, ask yourself:

• What attitude toward wealth do we wish to encourage?
• What behaviours should members of our family exhibit to demonstrate our values?
• What should our family’s wealth and money be used for? What exceptions would be considered? Why?

2. Give a voice to the rising generation sooner than later
While there is no best way or ideal timing to address sensitive topics, at Crysalia we believe it is never too early to have age-appropriate conversations.

When engaging with their children, parents may feel uncomfortable raising delicate topics. They may feel ill-prepared, vulnerable, biased or easily triggered during sensitive discussions. While they may not know where to start or feel they do not have all the answers, this is expected.

Rather than waiting to identify the perfect angle, parents can ask their children questions to leverage their answers as launchpads for stimulating conversations. The following are proven examples to inspire you:

• What would you like your life to look like later on? How can the family support you in achieving the life you want?
• What do you know about [fill in with any other sensitive topic]?
• One day, I hope you [fill in with one of your aspirations]. What do you think about it?

3. Strive to continuously learn, not perform, together
Every family’s journey to prepare empowered and responsible owners will follow a non-linear path. What is “right” may or may not remain constant through time and the comfort zone will most likely be stretched before expanding.
Seth Godin said, “The cost of being wrong is less than the cost of doing nothing.” Nelson Mandela is often quoted as saying, “I never lose. I either win or learn.” Carol Dweck’s research showed individuals who embody a growth mindset tend to achieve more than those with a fixed mindset.

Promoting a learning culture can help families lessen the discomfort and embrace the awkwardness. For parents, this means transferring knowledge and rewarding learnings. It implies encouraging appropriate risk-taking and providing sufficient space to overcome challenges as teaching moments. It also requires demonstrating their own desire to learn and grow at any life stage.

To translate these intentions in actions, start by exploring what the following means for your family:

• What knowledge, skills and abilities does a member of our family need to learn be an empowered owner?
• Who is motivated to learn what among us? How can we complement each other to achieve our individual and collective goals?
• How much time, resources and energy are we willing to invest in the development of our people to grow our human, intellectual and social capital?

A bright future ahead

Ultimately, we can all hope to see more proactive families dedicated to figuring out the best ways to equip their future generations to become empowered and responsible owners. As they adopt a positive goal setting, engage early with the rising generation and foster a learning culture, they are ensuring continuity and longevity of their wealth and well-being.

Above all, they are setting the tone for a bright future for generations to come.

Wishing you a great week ahead!

With gratitude,

Caroline Phaneuf
Cofounder and Managing Director
Crysalia Inc.

Helping enterprising families honor their roots, be adaptive, and live purposefully for generations

About Grayhawk

Grayhawk Investment Strategies Inc. (Grayhawk) is registered as an investment fund manager in the provinces of Alberta, Ontario and Quebec and as a portfolio manager and an exempt marker dealer in the provinces of Alberta, British Columbia, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Ontario, Quebec and Nova Scotia.

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